Parenting Thoughts

Parents/Teachers having trouble with discipline.  It’s NOT easy.  Teaching children how to behave, how to do the right thing is a challenge!I. I have been both parent and teacher.  Discipline was my biggest challenge.  Tom Rath and Mary Reckmeyer wrote a book that could be helpful.  The book is: How Full Is Your Bucket? for kids.  It starts out that Felix and his sister were having some issues playing.  Blocks were knocked down and his sister went to Grandpa crying.  Grandpa said something strange.  He said, “You just dipped from your sister’s bucket.”  Felix didn’t understand.  So Grandpa explained that everyone has an invisible bucket over their head.  When your bucket is empty, you feel bad.  When your bucket is full, you feel great.  The rest of the book takes Felix through his day and he learns how his bucket became empty and how it became full.  In other words, how the bucket works.  There is so much opportunity for discussion in this book and from there, the ability to discuss the children’s real life examples.  Eventually, a parent/teacher could just say, “How’s your bucket?  The child could self-evaluate the issue and maybe, nothing more would have to be said.  Watch out!  Adults have buckets too!  LOL.  I saw a whole school do this.  It was pretty amazing.  Buckets are cool because they are concrete.  Children can visualize buckets :)

Ps. I just went on Amazon to check it out and there is another book:  Have You Filled A Bucket Today?  And there is an adult version too!  I’m excited to read the adult version since I am retired :). I love this whole idea of filling a bucket!!!

Being a parent!  What a job!  Babies/children don’t come with instructions.  Each of us have to figure it out on our own!  I had no clue what to do.  Now, I’m old and am full of wisdom. I’ve raised my children, taught for almost 30 years, helped out with grandchildren and now, great grandchildren.  As you can imagine I’ve had lots to figure out over the years.  Sorry, it’s not one and done.  It’s a process.  I’m looking back and want to share what I’ve learned.  Maybe, it will help you get started :). With hindsight, I have learned some lessons/some tricks.  I would encourage new parents to think about what do they believe about children and write it down.  It will be messy at first, but, by the end you will have some good beliefs written down.  I did this with my teaching and it made a difference.  It helped guide my teaching so I wasn’t just out there flip-flopping around.  You will make mistakes - actually, lots of them.  It’s okay.  Learn from them, grow wiser and change what doesn’t work.  That’s how I live my life.  I learn from something, take what I like and grow.  Then I change what I am doing.  Be gentle with yourself and always be kind to the child.  Everyone is learning, growing and changing :)

I found this on Facebook the other day.  It reminded me that words make a difference.  I’m a parent, grandparent, great-grandparent and retired first grade teacher.  It’s not always easy choosing the right words, especially in the heat of the moment!  I thought this could be helpful, a start.  Once something is said, you can’t get it back!

This is an article that came from a DeKalb newspaper in the early 1970’s. I read it before I had my first child and it really helped me with raising my children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and the children I taught. It’s not an owner’s manual but can be helpful! Happy Reading :)

Memo From Your Child

1. Don’t spoil me. I know quite well that I ought not to have all I ask for. I’m only testing you.
2. Don’t be afraid to be firm with me . I prefer it. It makes me feel more loved, safe and secure.
3. Don’t let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them in the early stages.
4. Don’t correct me in front of other people if you can help it. I’ll take much more notice if you talk quietly in private.
5. Don’t be too upset when I say, “I hate you.” It isn’t you I hate, but your power to thwart me.
6. Don’t protect me from consequences. I need to learn the painful way sometimes.
7. Don’t take too much notice of my small ailments. Sometimes they give the attention I need.
8. Don’t nag. If you do, I shall have to protect myself by appearing deaf.
9. Don’t make rash promises. Remember that I feel badly let down when promises are broken.  
10. Don’t be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.
11. Don’t put me off when I ask questions. If you do, you will find that I stop asking and seek my information elsewhere.
12. Don’t tell me my fears are silly. They are terribly real and you can do much to reassure me if you try to understand.
13. Don’t ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. It gives me too great a shock when I discover you are neither.
14. Don’t ever think that it is beneath your dignity to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me feel surprisingly warm towards you..
15. Don’t forget I love experimenting. I couldn’t get on without it, so please put up with it.
16. Don’t forget how quickly I am growing up. It must be very difficult for you to keep pace with me, but please try.
17. Don’t forget that I can’t thrive without lots of understanding love.